Thank goodness we have equal opportunity government that distributes its concern among all living creatures. Not only will it protect you from your own gutterish desires; drugs, gluttony, the flames of lust: but it will also protect the yellow feathered peckerwood — a shy, exotic, and miniscule species, from the BB pellets of the youthful marksman, even in his own backyard.
Last week was a skimpy week for Lovers of Freedom (Government 45, Liberty 0). This disastrous week for freedom should especially depress those who lust in their heart for artificial trans fatty acids. Why? Because New York City is holding hearings — whole lotta shouting going on — with the goal of banning this poisonous ambrosia from Gotham restaurants.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CFSITPI) - the Guardian Angel of colon-concerned cuckoos - has sued KFC over this stuff. Fast food chains, who are in the business of catering to our tastes, are dumping trans fats with the fervor of chasing roaches off their gleaming counters. (The CFSITPI says it’s not heart healthy.) A few years back it was considered a healthy sub for natural fats — oh well, styles change. So, now a New York City health official takes it off your restaurant menu.
As though that’s not depressing enough, this same day, federal agricultural authorities are warning horse owners about abuse of the “Horse Protection Act”. Can you believe that outside of Alice in Wonderland, there is such legislation? It’s all about the training of Tennessee walking horses. The federal government has now boldly invaded the domain of a man’s relationship with his horse. Who woulda thunk the day would come when a Federal Marshall would stand between a man and his horse. Where’s John Wayne when you need him?
This is not only outlandish as a stretch of government authority — it’s plain ol’ silly, laughable. No, it’s not nice to inflict pain on animals, but it’s a problem in the province of ethics, spirituality, and common sense — not our judicial system.
