In my neighborhood, we have an animal control problem.
When I go for a walk, I carry dog mace (a nonlethal alternative to my usual revolver) because there are always, always, loose dogs out. I’ve been followed around by barking dogs many times, and they’re not always on the same streets, which means it’s hard to avoid them. One of my neighbors’ guests was bitten by a loose collie. I narrowly avoided having to break up a dog fight when an aggressive Boston terrier decided she didn’t like my female pitbull. Even with my trusty spray and my own large dogs to keep smaller dogs at bay, I’ve become hesitant to go on walks.
As if the dog problem weren’t enough, we also have a stray cat issue. Some of the neighborhood’s many retirees think it’s a brilliant idea to feed the needy cats. They’ll take on that responsibility, but they won’t adopt them outright or get them spayed and neutered. The result? We have a bunch of cats littering the neighborhood. Sure, the cats won’t attack me, and many places have a neighborhood cat or two and no issues. But we have at least ten cats just on my street, and they are a huge nuisance.
The cats have turned some of our planters into their personal litter boxes, killing our plants. They knock our lawn ornaments over all the time. They break into mine and other residents’ crawl spaces, causing property damage. They climb on our roofs and chimneys. They leave paw prints on my dusty car and scare songbirds away from my feeders (and they’ve of course killed some unfortunate cardinals and hummingbirds). They get into people’s backyards, lie on their outdoor furniture, and sometimes dogs kill them because they don’t get out in time. And, my favorite, the cats hang out just out of reach of all the dogs in the neighborhood, which drives most of them into maddening barking fits that won’t stop until the dog is brought inside or the cat slinks away—and many of the dogs are outdoor dogs, so the barking (in addition to the screeching sounds of cat fights) sometimes continues late into the night, disturbing even the peace of my dreams. I don’t even have it that bad. One house at the end of my block has become the communal litter box, and whenever I do muster up the courage to go for a walk, I note that the front lawn of this house absolutely reeks of cat urine.
Now, my Alabama town has all kinds of animal control laws on the books: within town limits, you can’t have more than four pets, you can’t have farm animals, dogs must be leashed or otherwise contained at all times, and you can even shoot aggressive dogs that wander onto your property. We also have an animal control service that is supposed to patrol the streets and pick up strays. There’s a three-strike rule and fines for those who fail to secure their animals, and unclaimed creatures are euthanized after seven days (however harsh, this measure should be effective in theory).
This all sounds very no nonsense, but here’s how things really go. The animal control officer position doesn’t pay much, so there’s high turnover (we’ve had four in the four years I’ve lived here), but it’s often unfilled. When there’s no animal control officer, the local cops handle animal control. They’ll only respond to calls if the animal is “aggressive,” which means don’t bother calling unless the dog’s already latched onto you. These are the same local cops that regularly barrel down our safe streets looking to make trouble. They’d probably do something if the animals had drugs strapped to their backs. When the animal control position is filled, the person works short or seemingly random hours. Streets are not regularly patrolled, and the animal control truck always passes by when there are no strays around (between cat feeding times, for example). If it’s “after hours” (so after 4 p.m. or during the weekend), you guessed it: the useless cops are on the case.
So, the wonderful local government has taken it upon itself to provide animal control, but it fails to do so. However, because it technically offers this service, residents are effectively barred from handling the issue. In nearby Wetumpka, which has the same issue, two old ladies tried to take matters into their own hands by feeding the cats in order to trap and neuter them. They were arrested and charged for this. One of their noncrimes was “interfering with governmental operations.” So trying to fix the problem can land you in prison.
Sonic barriers don’t work. Coffee grounds don’t work. Cat repellent spray is pricey, has to be reapplied constantly, and has a limited effect. Calling for the government to help definitely hasn’t worked. Even though the local police is basically inactive when it comes to animal control and probably wouldn’t stop me from trying, trapping all these animals is a long-term project requiring a lot of skill, time, and money. I’m not allowed to try anything else. The cat ladies who don’t care about population control won’t stop feeding the cats, and many people simply refuse to secure their dogs. I don’t have any natural or legal right to stop these people from doing what they’re doing, but the town government has crippled my natural right to protect my property. The people who broke my kneecaps won’t deliver on the crutches.
So I’ve built a tall fence to keep my dogs from barking. I shoo the cats when I see them in my bushes, and I either drive to a park when I want to walk or I stay inside. Government animal control and public roads have created a pocket of lawlessness. Nobody is held accountable for their actions (or in)action, for that matter), and nobody with stakes in the matter can take action.
But the beauty of natural order is that it stubbornly asserts itself even in these situations, like a wildflower growing up through a crack in a sidewalk. When we bought the house, my neighbors specifically told us not to feed the cats under any circumstances. We listened. Many people love and value their animals, so they secure them using pens, fences, and tie-outs. Some of my neighbors have dedicated themselves to catching and rehoming kittens. People regularly post about loose or found dogs on the town Facebook page. I spray any loose dog that comes too close when I’m out. The local government should step aside and let residents handle animal control themselves as they see fit. Maybe our streets would be walkable again. Definitely what we have now is legislated chaos.
